Things that I could not understand:
*How God is love, yet we are to hate so many different people. (gays, etc...)
*How God is Multi-Polar (multiple personalities) as in the trinity.
*Where did all the rules about cussing and smoking come from?
*Why, if we are supposed to "Go unto the world", were we requiring them to come to us.
*Why, did we expect people that are new to the faith to stand on their own, and not give mentors?
*Why, when some one was having a crisis of faith, did we ostracize them when they showed human frailties?
*Why is Song of Solomon in the bible, yet sex is something so shunned, that it cripples many from having healthy sexual relationships with their own spouses, and effects such horrible responses from people when it is such a natural act?
This is why I no longer go to church. These things and many others simply did not make sense to me, and the hard line doctrines, would never be able to explain. Nor were people in any mood to change their way of being because they did not see it as wrong. I have railed against those people and their shortsightedness, and made some very disturbing references to them. But with this last revelation that has come to me, I realize that I was very unfair to them, especially in my mantra of "personal faith."
The realization came to me as they usually do, when thinking of something else, while also pondering some other good meaning peoples challenges. The question that I was pondering, was how to help those that had lost their way. To do that, (oh God are you really doing this to me) I have to quote a very popular business book that has helped many achieve what they wanted, I had to "start with the end in mind." What was the destination? Where would I take these people that are asking for help? Back into a church system that I personally think is screwed as hell. That they think is screwed as hell. No, that would not do. Then I started thinking about something else, just let my mind wonder, and allowed myself to listen to the spirit. This is what he/she/it said.
"Each has to learn to understand God, in THEIR own way."
Not such an earth shattering statement. Yea, yea, we all know we are supposed to do that. But when I contemplated it, there may have been an actual WOW that escaped my lips. Those people that love to go to church, you know the ones I mean. The ones depicted by Dana Carvey as the church lady. They are understanding, "in THEIR own way." Those who just go in and don't rock the boat, those that are on fifty committees and are at church every day, to those that come when they feel like it only fifteen to twenty times a year, or maybe just Easter and Christmas. Those that go to church as in chat rooms and blogs. Those that will just meet with some friends on occasion and talk about God. That is "THEIR" understanding, and it is enough for them. Who am I to judge. God knows that I am not perfect, and never will be. But he accepts me, so he will accept them too.
So, what each of us that have been through the deconstruction and reconstruction process has found, is not the God depicted to us by a doctrine, not just a God that has already accepted us, but a God "WE" can accept, believe in, and look up to in worship. A God we can "Understand in our OWN way."