September 12, 2009

Broken Belief Structure

It has been a while since I posted with any regularity, feeling like there was not much else to say. Even in the beginning of this transition, I felt that in some way, helping those believers that were actively looking for God, and not finding him in a church would need to be helped to find their way, and not be discouraged. So lately I had been thinking about what the last step is, finding the God they can believe in. Now I have been thinking about what will cause the first step to happen.

This is what I found while reading a blog that did not appeal to me. But it made me think, "why don't others grasp our new truths that we have found?" Pondering that, it hit me. Their belief structure is intact, it has all of the answers it needs, so why would they want new answers? There is no reason for them. Also, within the doctrinally filtered lenses that people tend to look at things, they will just see how whatever you say just fits within their own belief structure, and see no need to change.

BUT, when those that are in earnest about their faith study, and find a different God staring up at them out of the pages of their bible, than the one being told about in church, their belief structure doesn't just crumble, it collapses. Crashing down on them, leaving them angry, bitter and in utter despair. Sound familiar?

I guess the next thing to ponder, is how to get from the first step, to the last, keeping the sanity intact.


Erin said...

Sorry for the rant, but you know this stuff is close to my heart.

In response to your last comment on the previous post...I can honestly say I think I have ALWAYS known there was something else, but because I'm a compliant child, I never was given "permission" to go there. That was for pagans and stray from the narrow way.

I think many people, if there isn't someone to tell them they are OK, to tell them there IS another way, a way that still retains the faith, then even if they do have that spark they will live in denial of it until it drives them insane, drives them to do something regrettable in their effort to become free, or drives them into the arms of another religion.

In my case, it wasn't so much study as it was always knowing the God who lived in me was not the God I was taught about. Then, finally, a life event that proved to me beyond any doubt that these people didn't practice what they preached...they were dead on hypocrites. Judge NOT, they say, at least until someone does something wrong...and then there is the bullshit of "Love the sinner hate the sin" and those two things drove me screaming out of the doors forever.

So for me it was that major disconnect between what they SAID and what they DID. And no, I don't for one second accept the "people are fallible and you can't abandon the church just because the people in it make mistakes". Biggest bunch of bull, they use that as an excuse to be hateful and judgmental and ugly and then say they are sorry they are imperfect people later. They know exactly what they are doing.

And I think we need to continue to "give permission" to those who need it, because it's terrifying to leave alone.

Do people make a conscious choice to remain in bondage? Of course they do, sometimes. I know people who continue to do it because to them the fear of the alternative, real freedom, is worse than the chains. So they choose not to embrace it.

kari bryant said...

Maybe you are not supposed to keep your sanity intact. I mean, if you have what it takes to get through, then you won't really find what you need. Maybe the false belief structure must be shattered in order that the real one can be built up.

I think for me, the hardest part of having a different God staring up at me out of the pages of the Bible than the one taught in church, was who to trust. Because if you were raised like much of us were...never to cause a problem, to make a scene...then to go against the church would be wrong. So, who do you trust? God? I still have a hard time trusting God. And an even harder time trusting the church...but little by little...

Nate said...

The compliant child. Maybe my next post. Both of you stated that you were taught to be good. Not make waves. But, that permissions was needed to step out of that role to find a new one. Interesting. And yes, I believe the old belief structure has to be totally obliterated to have a new one take it's place. Very militaristic, break them down, to build them up. Just like in boot camp.

Valorosa said...

I've been thinking Nate ... does belief in the one and only true God need any structure at all?

Do we really need to look for another prison when we have found freedom already ... the discomfort is in having the boundless space to fly.

Once we are used to that all is well :-)

Valorosa said...

Wrote a poem
almost 3 years ago that sort of captures what I am trying to say ...