Recently with all of the things that have been happening to me, it hit me that living my faith, and professing my faith are two different things. It also came from a saying that I have known about for a long time, but read again recently. True beliefs will be shown in actions. I have been talking with a Mormon friend of mine about his exact thing. We agree, but use different words to say the same thing.
The only thing that I have been able to do emotionally, is to lean on God. It has been WAAAAAY too much for me to handle. Putting me in areas that are rediculously uncomfortable, and I have no idea of how to deal with. So I pray a lot, and just do what feels right. Praying that it is the Holy Spirit leading. This is really hard for a control freak like me to do. Maybe that is the test. But, the realization that I was actully living what I professed, kind of shocked me. Being shocked by this REALLY SHOCKED me. It made me realize that what I had been saying about my faith for so long, was just crap. Because every time it got hard, I took it upon myself to dig myself out. Yeh, I said that I was relying on God, but I really wasn't. This time it was too much for me to handle. So I couldn't. It was highly uncomfortable to ride on the waves. The emotions of dispair, frustration, anger, and futility almost laid me low. But God has got us through this time so far. I know he will continue to.
4 comments:
Hey, Nate: You've been tagged!
I know so well where you are and where you have been. I have heard myself say so many times during those times when all seems lost and God doesn't seem to be there.
Stop the world ... let me off. I've really had enough.
And honestly I have ... I love the beauty of this place but we go a long way before we find real lovers.
Love is the key through everything and every friendship or family relationship.
Not that you perfectly love in every situation but that you allow the one who IS love to flood you with what you need to go on. What you need to SEE, to HEAR, to FEEL, to KNOW.
To FORGIVE AND yes FORGET. What you need to CONFESS and REPENT of. He never fails.
Its a long song, I know but I remember being in the place you are right now, and after everything was shaken all I had left was all I ever had and He built on that. You and your family are in my prayers...hope the lyrics strengthen you...
Home
Rich Mullins
Isaiah 60:1-3, First Corinthians 2:9
Second Corinthians 4:7-18, Second Timothy 2:11-13
I see the morning moving over the hills
I can see the shadows on the western side
And all those illusions that I had
They just vanish in Your light
Though the chill in the night still hangs in the air
I can feel the warmth of morning on my face
Though the storm had tossed me
'Til I thought I'd nearly lost my way
And now the night is fading and the storm is past
And everything that could be shaken was shaken
And all that remains is all I ever really had
What I'd have settled for
You've blown so far away
What You brought me to
I thought I could not reach
And I came so close to giving up
But You never did give up on me
I see the morning moving over the hills
I feel the rush of life here where the darkness broke
And I am in You and You're in me
Here where the winds of Heaven blow
And now the night is fading
And the storm is through
And everything You sent to shake me
From my dreams they come to wake me
In the love I find in You
And now the morning comes
And everything that really matters
Become the wings You send to gather me
To my home
To my home
I'm going home
This was interesting, thanks.
Post a Comment